Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
