is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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