just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
My feet surprised me
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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