I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
