it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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