So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
