i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
