We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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