would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
