I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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