Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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