I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
