you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
