I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize