On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
