I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
