"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
