first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
