I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
