I puked a lego.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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