i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
