so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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