there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
