just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Randomize
