So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
