He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
