I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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