Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
