well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
