would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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