I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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