Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
