Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
