Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize