Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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