What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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