those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
