My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize