Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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