I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
