what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
