And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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