I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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