My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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