Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize