I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
