I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
