hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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