one might say we're banned from that church
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
