Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
