I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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