How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
