Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
