how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I could make wine with my vomit
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
