I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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