But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I supernannyed him into submission
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
