Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
