:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
