I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
