she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
