My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
