Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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