Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I'm always down for nudity.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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