Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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