Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
