I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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